The Hardest Thing
by xSlythStratasfaction
Summary: This was the hardest thing Kyo Sohma ever had to do. [A Companion Piece to 'Mistress'] [Kyo x Kagura angst]


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fruits Basket, nor am I associated with it or Natsuki Takaya. I am just a poor college student who spends her time daydreaming about what she thinks should happen in one of her favorite animes/mangas of all time. I also do not own the lyrics to the song 'The Hardest Thing' by 98 Degrees. I am not affiliated with them either. I just think that the song suits the story.

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A/N: After much consideration, I decided to agree with my reviewers that Kyo didn't really get a chance to explain himself in my fic 'Mistress', so as a way to apologize to everyone's favorite zodiac cat, I have written a companion piece to 'Mistress'. Ladies and gentlemen, this is 'The Hardest Thing'.

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**The Hardest Thing**

By: xSlythStratasfaction (formerly known as LadyStrata821)

Pairing: Kagura x Kyo;; Kyo x Tohru

Song: 'The Hardest Thing' by 98 Degrees

Warning: Sexual Themes/Situations & Language

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_**We both know that I shouldn't be here  
This is wrong  
And, baby, it's killing me, it's killing you  
Both of us tryin' to be strong**_

He could remember the way she looked on his wedding day. She had slipped into the dressing room minutes before he was to leave for the altar, which was a shock to him because he thought she wasn't going to come to the wedding... but, she did and there she was standing behind him with her small hands covering his eyes. It was obvious who it was, no one had smaller hands than her. The soft, cool palms pressed against his eyelids smelled of pure vanilla, something she was known for. Kagura always smelled delicious.

"Guess who?" She purred into his ear. He shivered under her touch and smirked to himself.

"Well..." he began as he reached his hands up to grasp her small ones. "If I know my smells right, I would have to say that the only person I know of who smells this bad would be Kagura." She jerked her hands from his grasp and punched him hard in the shoulder, causing the young man to groan and chuckle at the same time.

"Kyo-kun! I do not smell bad! I smell better than you and you know that! Why must you be so mean?!"

The orange haired boy laughed louder and wrapped his arms around his sides. The look on her face was priceless, it was a look of sheer outrage mixed with embarrassment. He watched as she brought her fingers to her nose to sniff, which he knew she would do because anytime he told her she smelled, the girl would go into a fit of panic. It was interesting to say the least. "I'm kidding, Kagura. You know that."

The older girl did not look amused. She crossed her arms under her chest and sneered at him, making her small nose crinkle up. She was incredibly beautiful, especially in her light lilac colored satin gown. Her usually limp ebony locks were tucked into a tight bun and a few ringlets of hair framed her thin face. With her arms crossed like that under her chest, the ample bosoms that were tucked into the tight gown were accentuated. Kyo felt his pants get a little tighter on him as he watched her, so he quickly turned away.

He shouldn't be thinking of her like this. He was the one who turned on her, fell in love with someone else, and was about to marry said person in just a few minutes.

Kyo didn't realize how long he had been ignoring the boar until he felt her hand on his shoulder. She squeezed the rock hard muscles underneath and he sighed, "Something wrong, Kagura? I need to be going soon..."

The girl was quiet for a moment before she spoke up, but in a quiet, almost sort of a whispery voice. "I just wanted to see if you were ready. The guys are waiting for you. Tohru... Tohru- she is already on her way to the church and you are kind of running late. I'm sorry if I freaked you out or anything."

He shook his head negatively as he turned to face her. "Nah, it's alright. They can wait a few more minutes and if they get pissed, well, they can deal with me!" He punched a fist into the air making Kagura giggle. "Anyways, shouldn't you have left with the other girls. You're in the bridal party, you know."

The young woman's face fell as she turned to look out the window. He noticed how her grey eyes clouded over and then as quickly as it happened, long streams of large tears started streaming down her face. He cocked an eyebrow in confusement, "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just so happy... for you... and Tohru." Kagura whispered under her breath as she nodded her head. "I wanted to come up here and let you know that I'm glad you finally found love. You are my best guy friend, Kyo-kun! I always wanted you to be happy. You know that, don't you?"

"Duh, of course I do!" Kyo pulled the petite brunette into his arms and squeezed her tight. "Thanks for looking out for me all these years! You're like my big sis that I never had, no lie!" Then he let go of her and brought his large hands to her soft face. His thumbs brushed under her eyes as he wiped away her tears, careful to not remove any of the mascara that she had applied to her eyelashes. "Now, how about we go?! I've gotta get married!"

A sad smile spread across the boar's face, "Yes, we should go..."

_**I've got somewhere else to be  
Promises to keep  
And someone else who loves me  
And trusts me fast asleep**_

That was three years ago...

Now, Kyo was rolling around in a bed that wasn't his own, with a woman who wasn't his wife. They had been doing this for almost two years now. One night, Kyo had snapped at Tohru because she had made leeks for him for the third night in a row... because she thought he was sick. So, feeling terrible for snapping at his wife, he went out for a walk to cool down and think, as he usually did. Thinking that talking would help him out, he found himself outside of the boar's apartment complex. 'Maybe I could talk to her?' Kyo had thought when he entered the building. Little did he know that the two would've engaged in a sexual rendevous. He had awoken in the middle of the night to find himself curled up next to someone that wasn't his wife. When he looked down and saw Kagura, part of him grew incredibly excited and the other part grew sick to his stomach. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

So, Kyo left and went home. He apologized to Tohru for his actions earlier that evening and put the casual sex he had with Kagura far from his mind.

However, the orange haired boy couldn't get Kagura from popping into his thoughts. When he was at work, he saw her face, heard her moans, felt her lips. It was all coming back to haunt him, but the worst thing was... he wanted more. He wanted Kagura Sohma more than he had ever wanted anyone and as wrong as it was, Kyo couldn't stop himself. The second time he found himself outside of Kagura's home, he knew he had to tell the girl that their love making that night was a mistake, but when she opened the door in nothing but a pair of undies and a tank top, he dashed inside the apartment and took her faster than he had ever picked a fight with that damn rat.

So, here they were, making love once again in her apartment. Who knows how many times they had done this very act? Sometimes, he came once or even twice a week to see her. The boar was the only one who could get him going. She had a way with her body that Tohru did not and while Tohru was the love of his life, Kagura lit a fire under him that Tohru could never compete with.

"Kyo, ughh... please, Kyo!"

He grinned viciously as he withdrew himself from her body and started sucking at her neck. He loved making the small girl cry out and beg for him. As far as he knew, he had been her first and only when it came to sex as that night he stopped by her place almost two years ago proved to him that Kagura was still a virgin. She quivered underneath him as she reached her second orgasm of the evening, her screams of his name delighting him in every sense of the word. He leaned down to take her mouth in another kiss, but found his head smashing into a pillow. She had climbed out from underneath him and was manuevering herself to be on top this time.

"Roll over, Kyo-kun!" She commanded as she climbed on top of him.

Kyo smirked and placed his hands on her waist, squeezing the tender flesh that lay there. The more and more he thought about it, the more he wondered why in the hell he never looked to Kagura before. She had offered her heart to him many times and many a time did he take her heart and stomp on it. How many times had he made her cry when they were younger? He hated seeing her cry, but back then, he just wanted her off of his back. Now, he wanted her on top of him, beneath him, around him. He wanted her... no, he needed her. Kagura Sohma was all that Kyo would ever need...

It wasn't until she started twisting his wedding band that he found himself thrown back into reality.

"Kagura, don't." He hissed quietly. Every time she did that, thoughts of Tohru would pour into his mind. He was betraying his wife in every sort of way. He was committing adultery with Kagura, something that a husband, nor a wife, should ever commit. Sometimes he wanted to blame Kagura for this... this relationship, but he knew that he was at as much fault as she was. He was the one who came to her first, the one who came onto her, the one who had taken her virginity that night. If he had a little devil Kyo sitting on his shoulder, it would probably have mentioned that Kagura had never said no to him, that she let him take her that night, and that she wanted this more than anything in the world. Even though it was true, Kyo could not blame Kagura. She never seeked him for sex, he came to her. She just waited... that's all.

Her tongue flickered out and tasted his neck, causing the orange haired man to moan in pleasure. Damn, she was too good for him.

"Kyo, I'm gonna... I'm gonna-" She tensed around him, her arms squeezing his shoulders as she leaned her body into his. Her wails of passion sent him over the edge as well and he pulled her small body into his own, allowing his release to come as well. With a roar, her name slipped from his lips and into her damp ebony locks. His large hands groped her slender thighs with such a force that he heard her gasp in pain. Last week, he had grasped the same area too hard and left small bruises on her frame. He apologized profusely, but she brushed him off saying that it was nothing to apologize for. Whispering softly, he offered his apology for once again giving her bad bruises, but she just giggled at him and leaned her head into the crook of his neck, breathing him in.

The two just laid there, Kagura's thin body on top of Kyo's. They talked for a bit about their rendevous and Kagura ran her fingers up and down Kyo's sides, making the younger man groan. She should really stop doing that, he thought, otherwise they might be having an encore of what they just did. The thoughts quickly left his head though when he felt Kagura snuggle into him and whisper softly, "I wish it would never end."

Oh, but it had to.

_**It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion when you start to cry  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
'Cause my hands are tied and my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you **_

He couldn't answer her statement as he lifted her small frame from his body. Kyo sighed as he stood up from the bed and stretched out his limbs, shaking the tight feeling from his body. He needed a shower, he needed time to think. With a certain quickness, the man entered Kagura's bathroom and closed the door, quickly locking it so that the girl could not get in. Rude, yes, but necessary. He wanted to think and with Kagura in the shower with him, there would be no thinking. The tanned skinned boy leaned down and twisted the faucet to a warm water setting before he stepped into the tub and pulled the lever for the shower. The warm water was a comfort to him and as he lathered up his aching body, he slipped into deep thought.

"_I made your favorite for dinner, Kyo-kun."_

_Tohru leaned up on her tippy toes and pressed a soft kiss to Kyo's cheek before stepping back and putting his coat on the coat rack. "Did you have a good day at work, honey?" Her sugary sweet voice made Kyo smile as he leaned down and kissed her soft mousy brown hair. "I did," he said quietly, turning his direction to the kitchen. "Something smells delicious. What is it?"_

_His wife grabbed onto one of his large hands with one of her smaller ones and tugged him into the dining room. Sitting out on the table was a feast fit for a king: fried fish, lo mein noodles, cheese won-tons, etc. The sight of all that food made Kyo's stomach growl loudly and Tohru giggled. "I knew you'd be hungry! I hope you like what I made!"_

"_I always enjoy your cooking, Tohru-san." He whispered into her ear as he pressed soft kisses to her cheek. Her soft gasp made him smile against her ear and he leaned his head against her own. "We could always eat later. We could re-heat the dinner..."_

_Tohru's hands against his chest told him everything. "Oh, Kyo, I'm sorry! I just... I just thought that we could eat now. I'm... I just... I just wanted to talk some tonight."_

_With a sad sigh, Kyo nodded and went with his wife's wishes to just eat dinner peacefully. She was just so conventional with her ways. If they were going to make love, it would be before bed, but not any other time of the day. That's why he liked Kagura's sex drive so much, she was willing at any hour of the day. After brushing off Tohru's millions of apologies, the orange haired man plopped down in front of the table and started to load his plate. Taking a bite of his fried fish, he couldn't help but smile. Tohru was a wonderful cook, he'd give her that. Kagura was terrible at cooking. She burnt everything and couldn't measure anything to save her life. A laugh burst from Kyo's throat._

"_Oh goodness!" Tohru almost jumped out of her seat. "Is there something wrong with the dinner?! I wanted it to be perfect!"_

_Kyo waved a hand at his wife to signal that everything was alright. Damn, she was really getting worked up for no reason today. "It's alright, Tohru, really it is. The food is excellent as usual... I was just... uh, I was just thinking about how terrible the food was until you came along. Ever since then, I've eaten like a king!"_

_A blush crept across the young woman's face as she brought her napkin to her lips. "Thank you, Kyo. That means a lot to me."_

_Kyo grinned at her and then scooped up another helping of fried fish. "So, what's the reason for such a huge meal? Usually, we have small ones. Tonight must be special." He stabbed the fish with his chopsticks and popped a piece of the streaming goodness into his mouth._

"_Tonight is very special, Kyo." Tohru suddenly set her napkin down on the table and folded her hands into her lap. Another blush appeared and she looked down at her hands. "There's something I want to tell you."_

"_Well, then... spit it out." The boy muttered, raising an eyebrow at his beloved._

_With a bright smile, the girl's blush disappeared and she looked up, meeting her bright blue eyes to Kyo's stunning crimson ones. "I'm... I'm pregnant, Kyo. We're having a baby!"_

_A gasp erupted from Kyo's lips. The bits and pieces of fish that he had in his mouth got lodged in his throat and he leaned forward, sputtering and spewing fish pieces all over the table. Tohru jumped up from her spot at the other end of the table and ran to her husband's aid, grabbing onto him and patting his back roughly. The boy coughed and the stuck fish pieces flew out of his mouth and back onto his plate. Tears were forming in his eyes from the struggle of choking and he leaned back into his wife's soft chest. "Oh god..."_

"_Oh! I knew I shouldn't have told you why you were eating! I'm so sorry, Kyo! I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I shouldn't have... I'm sorry!"_

_The girl suddenly stopped though when Kyo's large hands cupped her small face. He turned to face her and pulled her into a swift, chaste kiss. Tohru smiled against his lips, leaning her body into his. Then they pulled away. "Oh Tohru... a baby." His hands left his wife's face and ran down her body to her stomach. He placed both of his hand's on the soft flesh and smiled. "Our baby's in there. Oh wow." Tohru smiled at him, erupting a burst of excitement into Kyo._

_He was going to be a father! Grabbing his wife gently, he pulled her into another long kiss. They were going to be parents!_

The warm water of the shower was now growing cold. Grumbling in annoyance, Kyo leaned down and turned off the water before stepping out of the shower. How long had he been in there? Damn, it had to have been over 45 minutes... Kagura was probably wondering where he was. Grabbing a towel, the boy unlocked the bathroom door and stepped into the bedroom. Kagura's small form was sprawled out on the bed, obviously asleep. She looked cute...

It wasn't until Kyo had fully exited the bathroom that he noticed the older girl stirring in her sleep. One eye opened, then two, and then she was staring at him. He looked away from her and went on the search for his clothes, which had been tossed around the apartment in their haste to have sex. He finally found his pants after a good ten minutes of searching for them and his other clothes were in the living room. Now all he needed to do was change and blow dry his hair... then he'd go home...

For good.

_**I know that we'll meet again  
Fate has a place and time  
So you can get on with your life  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
All my love I'll be sending  
And you will never know  
'Cause there can be no happy ending **_

Turning on the blow dryer, he turned to face her. Kagura's grey eyes were boring into him like knives. They somewhat hurt him, burned him with the fire that he saw in them, something he hadn't seen in so long from the boar. He had to turn away from her then because he knew that if he watched her anymore, he wouldn't be able to leave. As much as he loved Kagura, he couldn't keep seeing her like this. Tohru was at home, pregnant with his child. Just this morning before he left for work, he heard her heaving up her breakfast in the bathroom. He went in and held her hair for her whilst rubbing large circles on her back to comfort her. She apologized for her sickness, which he brushed off. In all reality, she should not have been apologizing to him. He should've been apologizing to her: for his infidelity, for his lack of loving, for everything. Sighing, the boy clicked off the dryer and turned to look at the naked girl who had been watching him this entire time.

"Thanks, Kagura... you know, for tonight."

"It's no problem, Kyo-kun. Really, it isn't." She said smiling seductively at him. The look was enough to cause his pants to tighten, which made him incredibly nervous. He shouldn't be doing this! He should be at home! Kagura continued, "When will you be back?"

The boy looked down at the floor, staring down at his black shoes, his gaze never returning to her bright grey eyes. "Kagura, I... I can't come back. Tonight is the last night."

"What?!" Kagura sputtered. She sat straight up and the sheets that covered her naked form fell, revealing her bare chest. "What do you mean that tonight is the last night?! You never had a problem coming over here! I don't understand!"

Kyo turned and looked at her, his dark eyes were sad it seemed. He didn't know how to break this news to her. When they were younger, Kagura had talked of having children with him. She talked of little ebony locked children with crimson eyes and how they would have bad tempers and the strength of ten men... even if they were female. Tears threatened to fill the cat's eyes as he watched Kagura with an air of sadness. This was going to break her, he knew it... and he didn't want it to happen. He didn't want to hurt her, but he needed to... to end this. "Tohru's pregnant, Kagura. I can't keep running around on her like this. I have to be there for her and our baby. Being with you is wrong, I know that, but when she told me that she was pregnant, I knew I had to stop this completely."

He watched as the look on her face went from shock to anger to complete sadness. Her grey eyes gave away her every emotion. At that current moment, it was like those grey eyes, the mirrors and windows to Kagura's very soul, had broken into a million pieces. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see such heartbreak in one's eyes. Kyo's stomach churned; he didn't want to do this. He didn't want to lose Kagura's friendship or her love over this. This was all his fault, all of this. He was the bad guy here and yet, he didn't want to be...

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! You lied to me!" The girl screamed as she slammed her small fists on the bed.

"I didn't lie," Kyo stated plainly, looking back at the floor. "This baby is an accident, but it's an accident that I have to take responsibility for. I love Tohru and that unborn runt and I can't jeopardize my marriage anymore. I'm sorry."

Kagura choked back a sob and it made the younger man's guts churn once more. He looked up from the floor and watched her as she balled the bed sheets into her fists in order to cover her naked, used body. She didn't know that this was killing him almost as much as it was killing her. "Don't you love me, Kyo-kun? Don't I give you enough?"

"I can't love you like that, Kagura. I'm sorry."

He lied...

_**It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion when you start to cry  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
'Cause my hands are tied and my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you **_

"GET OUT! GET OUT NOW, KYO!"

Pillows and other objects came flying at him in all directions and he ducked quickly to avoid getting smashed in the face by the alarm clock that she chucked at him. The look on her face was something that he would never forget... so much pain. It broke his heart to see her like this. Sadly, he looked towards the broken girl once more and silently mouthed the words, 'I'm sorry' to her, hoping that she saw them. Another pillow flew at him, followed by a book, and that's when he took his leave. He grabbed his cellphone off of the end table that sat by the door and exited the apartment. Once he heard the apartment door automatically lock, he leaned against the heavy wood and slid down it. Kagura's loud, terrible sobs could be heard from outside and each time she cried out his name, he felt the dull throbbing of his heart being stabbed and the terrible churn of his stomach. Part of him wanted to throw up right then and there and the other part of him wanted to die. She didn't deserve this... she just wanted his love.

Tears formed in Kyo's crimson eyes and he put his head into his hands. Soon, even he was sobbing.

A neighbor or two of Kagura's poked their heads out to see what in the hell was going on, but when they were met with the deadliest of glares from Kyo, they disappeared back into their apartments. The young man sat outside of his lover's door for a while until he heard the loud sobs quiet down to barely nothing. He had to fight himself from going inside to see if she was alright, but he knew that if he went back to her, he would never leave. He also had Tohru and their unborn child to think of. Gathering his strength, the cat stood up from his spot in front of the door and stared at the heavy cherry wood.

"Goodbye, Kagura... I love you."

_**Maybe another time, another day  
As much as I want to, I can't stay  
I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that **_

It was almost 2 AM when Kyo Sohma pulled into his driveway. He looked up at the small house and sighed before stepping out of the car.

Tohru was awake, it seemed. The lights were on in the living room when he entered the home. Sliding off his shoes at the front door, he turned to meet his wife who was wearing her pajamas and standing in the hallway with a blanket wrapped around herself. "Mmph, Kyo. You're home late? Long day at work?"

He pulled her into a hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, long day indeed." Thoughts of Kagura loomed in his mind, making him nauseated once more. His body grew sick and he leaned into his wife's small frame, causing the young woman to gasp.

"Kyo?! Are you alright?!"

The orange haired man nodded into Tohru's neck as he breathed in her scent, it was a sweet strawberry scent, not vanilla, like Kagura's. He shook his head a bit. The boy needed to banish these thoughts from mind, each and every one of them that dealt with Kagura. He felt Tohru's hands run through his hair and he sighed. "You go on up to bed, Tohru. I'll be up in a bit. I'm going to grab something to drink and take some medicine... then I'll be up."

"Are you sure?" Tohru's raised an eyebrow as she looked up at him with concerned, sparkling blue eyes. He nodded at her and after a few minutes of convincing her that he would indeed be alright and would not pass out while coming upstairs, the girl finally trudged up to bed, blanket in tow.

Kyo quietly entered the kitchen, grabbed the ibuprofen bottle, and emptied a few pills into his hands. Tilting his head back, he took them with a couple of sips of cold water before he turned to head upstairs to his bedroom. He clicked the lights off in the kitchen and went into the dim hallway. As he leaned down to turn off the lamp, his crimson eyes caught the sad grey eyes of a certain bridesmaid from his wedding almost three years ago. Kagura was standing there, a fake smile plastered onto her face as she stood next to Rin, Hana, and Arisa, who were standing next to Tohru, who was wrapped up in Kyo's arms. It was obvious to him that Kagura was heartbroken. That smile was the fakest thing he had ever seen on her and he knew what her real smiles looked like. Her grey eyes were lost it seemed, much like they looked earlier that evening. Kyo sighed sadly and turned away from the picture. He needed to brush these thoughts of Kagura from his head. He had a wife and baby to worry about... Clicking off the light, the crimson eyed boy couldn't help but take one last glance at Kagura's sad face in the picture and then he dragged his feet up the wooden stairs, images of the boar's tearful eyes staring at him stuck in his mind.

By far, this was the hardest thing Kyo ever had to do... the hardest damn thing...

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A/N: Man, I should really get back to my other fic 'Not Alone'... Well, there you go. There's the companion piece that tells Kyo's side of the story. Hope you enjoyed! Please review! I love reviews! XD


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